The feeling of inadequacy hurts me like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. I’ve never felt this way before, nor this disappointed in myself. The feelings always recur, I always feel this way. She says not to talk about myself that way, to not be pathetic, but I am speaking the truth when I say I just don’t deserve her. I haven’t even been writing anymore because I have been bottling my feelings up. Because no one needs to know. But you know what.. I guess all my feelings are going to unravel all in this.

Of all the many things I don’t “deserve” in this life, it’s her. How does a guy like me get a girl like her to fall for said guy. For one thing, he’s nowhere near attractive as her. I mean, she’s only the most beautiful thing in the world. When she walks into the room, he’s proud that she’s his. But what makes him so special? He’s just some weird kid that just happened to get lucky. He doesn’t even treat her as well as she deserves to be treated. Her personality is just so amazing.. but what’s he got, some boring jokes and a poor sense of humor. He doesn’t deserve her at all. I don’t deserve her.